Toilets

I was at Barnes and Noble today studying with Kelly and Mike. I often procrastinate there by drinking buckets of water and lots of lattes. Therefore, every 30 minutes I'm venturing to the back of the store to visit the women's restroom. Usually, I'm not too disappointed in B&N restrooms... until today. The inevitable happened ...

PEE ON THE SEAT!

This is a common occurence on campus at the HUB, but I think it tends to be a college thing as I have never seen so much pee on seats than at the Penn State campus's restrooms. For some reason people have a phobia of sitting on seats. Some women might think that they can aim or something and somehow squat and make it directly into the bowl (where the duck is), but sorry ladies, you can't.

People have these phobias because they are afraid of butt cooties or something. However, it's just skin, and it's not really your actual butt butt. It's your thighs. What's the difference between sitting out in a bikini on a pool deck and sitting on a toilet seat? I don't get it. The bathroom door handle has millions of more bacteria and germs than the toilet seat does, yet people don't seem to have problems with touching handles where people's hands have touched ... hands that have been sneezed on and coughed on, etc, and then eating food with their bare hands.

The most common areas of pee location in women's bathrooms is illustrated above by the speckled yellow dots that I have drawn on this fancy sea green toilet seat, absolutely making it impossible for seat sitters like myself to sit down. This especially bothers me on the days after I have ridden 60 miles on a bicycle (like today) and my quads just don't feel like using my thigh squatting muscles.

So, my suggestion ladies. If you are afraid of toilet seats, please lift up the seat. Just use your foot and flip it up, squat and do your non-aiming abilities, and then flush. That way us seat sitters can sit and save our sore quads from squatting.

And yes, I'm still smiling because I got to include a rubber ducky in a photo for this post. :)